Change & Acceptance

Change your thoughts, and you change your world. -  Norman Vincent Peale

These may seem like two very separate issues, but change and acceptance are actually tied together. There's  no way you can go back and change the past. You can only look to the past for guidance towards the changes you;d like to make. If your life is a mess, if you've lost a job, betrayed a trust or ruined a precious relationship. the best thing you can do yourself is simply accept it. You know, feeling sorry for yourself or blaming everyone else, it only keeps you in the past mistake. 

I wanted to blame everyone else, you know, because I had nothing to do with it. But I had everything to do with it. I was part of every single equation. You just realize it's all about how you think.

By Accepting your lot, you can clear the slate, and prepare yourself for change. It's enormous relief to start all over again with a blank canvas. But before you state painting, prepare yourself. Make every stroke count. 

I used to always accept everything outside, and I was never accepting things on the inside. When I really turned that around and started accepting myself, and surrendered to the fact that I am a great person, that's when  I actually was able to move forward. 

Would you take a risk that promised a great pay off? A career change, a move to a different state, or a new opportunity, if that risk meant giving up some of your security?

I would necessarily find any interest or attraction in taking an unnecessary risk?

What is security? Security is material things.

I personally, um see security as, sometimes as stagnation. 

I would absolutely give up stuff that I have, in order to better my life. 

You know, if you asked around, most people say they're willing to pay the price. So why is it that they don't take that first step? Well there's two reasons, actually. Number one, there is an enormous gap between knowing what to do, and actually doing it. And we talked about that in the first program. 

Number two, many of us do start to take the first step. We'll set out to achieve our goals. But after a few steps, or a few weeks, the trail and the determination go cold. Lack of preparation is what we're really attempting to overcome. You know, we get excited. We vow to take action. We jump in without a plan. We may even start to see results and then we let up a little. Next comes the distractions, which often pop up at the wrong time. Stuck in unfamiliar territory with no clear sense of directions, we naturally veer back towards safe ground. Toward what we know, 

'I didn't believe in anything. And I grew up very, very angry with no self esteem and no confidence. Not a fun way to grow up. I figure out that things are not working the way I'm doing it, so really the only thing left is to give this stuff a chance. When I finally decided, okay, let's try this and see what happens,  and I really gave it a chance and started putting to use some information, some personal development, I saw some immediate changes in my life. And I was blown away.'

You know, change isn't always as easy as it looks. We are creatures of habit. We tend to fall back into patterns. We gravitate to what is familiar and comfortable to us. Growth and change, they truly rattle our cages. Take us out of our comfort zone. 

'I think change is difficult. Imean, I think change has historically been a difficult thing for me.'

Another part of the problem is that we are seldom taught how to change. Want to quit smoking? Just resist the urge to light up. Like to lose some weight? Push away the plate. Trout out your trusty will power. Well, that's not a good thing. 

You see, will power is a temporary mental burst, and can rarely be sustained over long periods of time. Next thing you know, you're getting hungry. The will power wears off. That's only natural, And without a plan, you have no healthy food in the house. Not a good thing. Cookie jar, here you come. 

Will power can be very strong for a short period of time, but then it weakens. Lose focus and you slip into your old behavior patterns. We have all experienced this. And when we do, we say, "I didn't have enough will power to change."

Well change affects everybody differently. I think, a lot of people try to use their will power to go through it, when really they can just use the power of their subconscious mind to change the image that they have of themselves.

Again, we see how the best way to change our behavior is to first change our thought process. Don't resist the urge to eat, but begin to change the vision of ourselves from fat to thin. From junk food junky to healthy eater. You know, there's a normal lag time between belief change and the behavior change, but stick with it, and you'll find it to be a much more permanent solution. 

I've committed myself to that 100 percent, knowing that you can do anything you want. And, I didn't live that way before. 

It's so exciting to learn the correct way of changing your behavior patterns, because it is much easier that you think, and it takes no sustained use of your will power.  And best of all, you can actually expect results. Not hope for results. Remember, your really changes only after you've developed a new consciousness. Not before. The new consciousness must come first. 

The Price we Pay for Feeling Safe

Procrastination is a habit that stops people living the life of their dreams - it can be such a habit that it stops people even living a decent life! I spoke to someone today who would rather feel safe than change, because they perceived the pain of changing greater than the pain or disappointment of staying the same. They're in a job they don't like, but they would rather stay than risk the steps it would take to change this. The craziness is, they've been doing the same thing for five years! If nothing changes, nothing changes. Someone who procrastinates is trying to keep themselves safe from the disappointment of being let down, or safe from the fear of the responsibility that comes with change. Either way, they stay safe. People who procrastinate think that they will be happy if they stay safe. This simply isn't the case. The longer we stay still, the less happy we become. Almost as if the energy is just sucked out of us. To feel happy, we must be growing and contributing to our community (community includes family). If we don't grow or contribute, we wither. Yet, still some people hang onto staying still, as if by moving they will rock the boat too much and get wet. The ONLY way to feel good about ourselves is through action. No one got happy sitting and wishing things were better. Even if it's a little step each day, it's action. It counts. It stores credits in your self-esteem account, and you start to feel energised and positive about you. Little courageous steps towards a dream are empowering, uplifting and worthy of our praise. Too many people sit on the sidelines and critique the efforts of those who are having a go. If you see someone going for it, even if it's in little tiny steps, take your hat off to them - they are worthy of our praise. 

The Purpose of Life Isn't Clarity!

The purpose of life is not clarity. We are not here to "get it". We are not here to make sense of it all, or have little boxes in our minds about topics so we can feel safe because we understand. If you seek clarity, you don't seek all the other opportunities of what life has to offer. Clarity wants to avoid chaos, yet I know the greatest coaching moments can be experienced in moments of chaos, and where a client explores, perhaps for the first time, what it means to let go and let it go. Clarity is simply information gathering. It's another word for encyclopedia, unless we act as a result of our clarity. The world doesn't need more encyclopedias, it needs more people taking action, moving in the direction of their dreams and fighting for what they believe in. The world can always use more of that! 

NLP is growing in popularity

NLP - Neuro linguistic programming - is growing in popularity as more and more people come to realise its power and effectiveness as a personal development tool. Self-awareness, understanding and the ability to create rapid change becomes available with these skills. It takes a sense of humour, an ability to make connections, a willingness to challenge limits in people's experience to truly be a practitioner of NLP. It's not - psychology, a way of working out "why" someone does what they do, or a "one hat fits all" approach to change. It is - a structure for discovering how someone does something and how to change it if it doesn't get the results they want. It is - a way of thinking that increases the opportunity to improve our results. It is - a playful way to create change that counts. Defined as the study of subjective experience, it's one of the most advanced forms of coaching there is, along with giving its practitioners an amazing boost to their personal and professional growth. - 

Life Without Limits

Think about this. The very first think we start to do upon entering this world is learn. We learn that when we cry, we’re fed or changed. We learn to understand that certain noises or words correspond to consistent behaviours  We are understanding machines. But as we get older: we often start to develop patterns. We feel we have an operating knowledge. We know enough to get by. Many of us lose that insatiable quest for new knowledge and untold experiences.

They say knowledge is power. I believe it is a method for transforming the power of knowledge into energy. Energy into action, and action into untold abundance of health, wealth, happiness and love. It’s not just a way of thinking about life. It’s a way of living life. It’s a way of thriving at a higher level than you've ever achieved.

Life Without Limits. Do you unintentionally set limits for yourself? Are there some things you don’t even try because you know you just won’t be any good? Then think about the phrase Life Without Limits.

No limits. No money problems. Loving your job so much it’s not work. Rewarding friendships and passionate, committed relationships. Free time to do what you desire. Think what your life would be like if truly anything was possible.

A life without limits is something to strive for. But often we must first stop following old guidance we were given, directions we chose, habits we've developed and even many of those deep-seated beliefs we hold onto dearly.

What was the best advice you've ever received? Try to remember the advice exactly the way it was given to you. Recall the circumstances when you received the advice. Was it given to you by a friend? A parent? A teacher? A mentor? A stranger? Was it written in a book?

Is the advice you were given negative or positive? Does it comment on the potential and greatness of the human spirit, or does it caution against those who would take advantage? Was it given to you as a warning or an act of encouragement?

Now think hard. Why was the advice so good? You've just declared it to be the best advice you've ever received. Why? There may be an obvious answer: but what was the bigger reason? How has it served you? How has it made your life more fulfilling or truthful? 

Your Ideal Life

To create an extraordinary life we must be able to paint a picture of what it looks like.

Imagine if everyday was your best day. Wouldn't that be great? What’s the best day of your life like? Where would you be? Who is with you? What are you doing? Can feel the smile on your face, the joy in your heart?

It is an important first step to know what true happiness means to each of us. If you don't know what will make you happy, how can you ever expect it to happen? Please take a moment to think about your best day. But don't just think about it, see yourself there experience the happiness.

Exercise: Imagine your ultimate day. Write it in the box below. Describe not only what you’d do and where you'd be, but also what you'd be feeling during your best day ever. Hold on those feelings.

Where would you live?

What would your house look like?

Who is with you?

What is the conversation about?

What are you doing?

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

- Laurence J. Peter

Affirmations in Daily Life

In everyday life, people can use affirmations to reprogram their minds into a more positive way of thinking.

Affirmations are statements that you can repeat silently or out loud to yourself, over and over, until the constant repetition become meaningless and you are aware only of the sound of the affirmation in your head. Although repeating statements in this way may seem pointless at first, try to persevere because they are powerful tools and can have some very positive effects on your mind and overall well-being.

Affirmation examples:

I am very confident

My body is beautiful

I am completely relaxed

Everyday in every way I am getting better and better

Please write your affirmation(s)