The Price we Pay for Feeling Safe

Procrastination is a habit that stops people living the life of their dreams - it can be such a habit that it stops people even living a decent life! I spoke to someone today who would rather feel safe than change, because they perceived the pain of changing greater than the pain or disappointment of staying the same. They're in a job they don't like, but they would rather stay than risk the steps it would take to change this. The craziness is, they've been doing the same thing for five years! If nothing changes, nothing changes. Someone who procrastinates is trying to keep themselves safe from the disappointment of being let down, or safe from the fear of the responsibility that comes with change. Either way, they stay safe. People who procrastinate think that they will be happy if they stay safe. This simply isn't the case. The longer we stay still, the less happy we become. Almost as if the energy is just sucked out of us. To feel happy, we must be growing and contributing to our community (community includes family). If we don't grow or contribute, we wither. Yet, still some people hang onto staying still, as if by moving they will rock the boat too much and get wet. The ONLY way to feel good about ourselves is through action. No one got happy sitting and wishing things were better. Even if it's a little step each day, it's action. It counts. It stores credits in your self-esteem account, and you start to feel energised and positive about you. Little courageous steps towards a dream are empowering, uplifting and worthy of our praise. Too many people sit on the sidelines and critique the efforts of those who are having a go. If you see someone going for it, even if it's in little tiny steps, take your hat off to them - they are worthy of our praise. 

The Purpose of Life Isn't Clarity!

The purpose of life is not clarity. We are not here to "get it". We are not here to make sense of it all, or have little boxes in our minds about topics so we can feel safe because we understand. If you seek clarity, you don't seek all the other opportunities of what life has to offer. Clarity wants to avoid chaos, yet I know the greatest coaching moments can be experienced in moments of chaos, and where a client explores, perhaps for the first time, what it means to let go and let it go. Clarity is simply information gathering. It's another word for encyclopedia, unless we act as a result of our clarity. The world doesn't need more encyclopedias, it needs more people taking action, moving in the direction of their dreams and fighting for what they believe in. The world can always use more of that! 

NLP is growing in popularity

NLP - Neuro linguistic programming - is growing in popularity as more and more people come to realise its power and effectiveness as a personal development tool. Self-awareness, understanding and the ability to create rapid change becomes available with these skills. It takes a sense of humour, an ability to make connections, a willingness to challenge limits in people's experience to truly be a practitioner of NLP. It's not - psychology, a way of working out "why" someone does what they do, or a "one hat fits all" approach to change. It is - a structure for discovering how someone does something and how to change it if it doesn't get the results they want. It is - a way of thinking that increases the opportunity to improve our results. It is - a playful way to create change that counts. Defined as the study of subjective experience, it's one of the most advanced forms of coaching there is, along with giving its practitioners an amazing boost to their personal and professional growth. - 

Life Without Limits

Think about this. The very first think we start to do upon entering this world is learn. We learn that when we cry, we’re fed or changed. We learn to understand that certain noises or words correspond to consistent behaviours  We are understanding machines. But as we get older: we often start to develop patterns. We feel we have an operating knowledge. We know enough to get by. Many of us lose that insatiable quest for new knowledge and untold experiences.

They say knowledge is power. I believe it is a method for transforming the power of knowledge into energy. Energy into action, and action into untold abundance of health, wealth, happiness and love. It’s not just a way of thinking about life. It’s a way of living life. It’s a way of thriving at a higher level than you've ever achieved.

Life Without Limits. Do you unintentionally set limits for yourself? Are there some things you don’t even try because you know you just won’t be any good? Then think about the phrase Life Without Limits.

No limits. No money problems. Loving your job so much it’s not work. Rewarding friendships and passionate, committed relationships. Free time to do what you desire. Think what your life would be like if truly anything was possible.

A life without limits is something to strive for. But often we must first stop following old guidance we were given, directions we chose, habits we've developed and even many of those deep-seated beliefs we hold onto dearly.

What was the best advice you've ever received? Try to remember the advice exactly the way it was given to you. Recall the circumstances when you received the advice. Was it given to you by a friend? A parent? A teacher? A mentor? A stranger? Was it written in a book?

Is the advice you were given negative or positive? Does it comment on the potential and greatness of the human spirit, or does it caution against those who would take advantage? Was it given to you as a warning or an act of encouragement?

Now think hard. Why was the advice so good? You've just declared it to be the best advice you've ever received. Why? There may be an obvious answer: but what was the bigger reason? How has it served you? How has it made your life more fulfilling or truthful? 

Your Ideal Life

To create an extraordinary life we must be able to paint a picture of what it looks like.

Imagine if everyday was your best day. Wouldn't that be great? What’s the best day of your life like? Where would you be? Who is with you? What are you doing? Can feel the smile on your face, the joy in your heart?

It is an important first step to know what true happiness means to each of us. If you don't know what will make you happy, how can you ever expect it to happen? Please take a moment to think about your best day. But don't just think about it, see yourself there experience the happiness.

Exercise: Imagine your ultimate day. Write it in the box below. Describe not only what you’d do and where you'd be, but also what you'd be feeling during your best day ever. Hold on those feelings.

Where would you live?

What would your house look like?

Who is with you?

What is the conversation about?

What are you doing?

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

- Laurence J. Peter

Affirmations in Daily Life

In everyday life, people can use affirmations to reprogram their minds into a more positive way of thinking.

Affirmations are statements that you can repeat silently or out loud to yourself, over and over, until the constant repetition become meaningless and you are aware only of the sound of the affirmation in your head. Although repeating statements in this way may seem pointless at first, try to persevere because they are powerful tools and can have some very positive effects on your mind and overall well-being.

Affirmation examples:

I am very confident

My body is beautiful

I am completely relaxed

Everyday in every way I am getting better and better

Please write your affirmation(s)

What is Possible?

What did you want to be when you were a child? The President of the United States? An astronaut? Quite literally, the sky was the limit, right? Well what happened? Who told you to “get real?” When did ‘paying the bills’ become more important than following your passion? Can you even remember that exact moment when you gave up on your dreams? The good news: its never too late.

Now that you know the ways of the world and the skills you have to offer: how much money do you think you could earn in a year? Under the best possible employment circumstances, what is the best you can do? Please write that figure down on the dotted line below.

_____________________________

By the end of this program, that figure will seem ridiculously low.

Limiting beliefs are usually the culprit that keeps us down. They limit what we will attempt, thus limit our possibilities. It’s your beliefs that are probably keeping you from the magic six-figure or seven figure income that you deserve. Limiting beliefs that you will soon learn to release.

If personal development was easy everyone would do it. At first, opening our minds to new beliefs can feel like a new day in the sun. All we see are the possibilities. But our old limiting beliefs will attempt to block out the light. They don’t just go away. We are pushed out of our comfort zone. We’re forced to change our behavior. We face setbacks. Doubt creeps in and then sometimes we just give up.

Something must have happened to you lately that derailed some sort of progress you were making. What was it that make you go off your diet? What kept you from getting the promotion? Really think about it, and write it down.

Now what did you write? What was your excuse? Be honest. Were there any possible ways you could have succeeded in spite of the hardships or troubles you encountered? Can you even think of one? You may have had to sacrifice something, but there was a way, wasn't there? Think about it. And write it down.

Be creative and make a choice. We are capable of more than we know.

Success is a choice. There are a zillion ways to make a million bucks. No kidding. Fun ways to make a million.

Exercise:

Take a few minutes right now to write out a paragraph or two describing the ideal you. Remember, no limits or restrictions whatsoever. This is your pie-in-the-sky-life. You can be who you want to be, do anything this world has to offer.

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. - Alan Cohen