How To Influence More

“The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.” – Kenneth H. Blanchard

Everyone wants to know how to be more influential. But most of us don’t really think we have that kind of charisma that media strongly associates with someone like Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, or Bill Gates – unless of course, we presupposes it comes naturally to us.

In saying that, having a compelling personality is something anyone can learn and the key is in knowing that people do make personality judgements about others. To improve your power to influence you must appreciate that not everyone will be influenced by the same things and in the same way you are. According to author Daniel Benjamin and Jesse Shapiro (2006), influencing others comes down to a simple combination of ‘strength’ and ‘warmth’. Strength is a person’s capacity to make things happen with ability. When strength is projected, they command our respect. Warmth is a sense that a person shares our feelings, interests, and view of the world. When warmth is projected, we like and support them. But here’s the thing, projecting both at once is a difficult task. It is critical then, to learn ways of flexing or adapting your influencing style to suit the needs and decision-making behaviour of others.

If you are serious about increasing your chances of hearing the word ‘yes’ then you can find ways to develop specific influencing skills. Some areas that you can replicate from compelling leaders:

1. Your credibility becomes your ‘strength’: Your personal credibility has a significant impact on your degree of influence. Your credibility is determined by certain aspects such as your self-confidence, presence, charisma, experience, work networks and skill level. Solid credibility gives you a solid foundation on which to plan an influential communication strategy.

2. Be connected: Be clear in your mind about the basis on which there is the potential for a connection between you and those you would like to influence. In other words, why do others need what you have to offer or why should they change in the way you would like them to? What is the strategic value of what you have to offer? Apart from anything else, if you are really clear about this you will have more success in adapting your influencing style to the situation.

3. Build ‘warmth’: Zig Ziglar famously quoted “They don’t care what you know until they know how much you care”. Work on your relational skills because others cannot be persuaded unless they feel an affinity with you. Rapport is about, trust, a common connection, mutual understanding and a functional relationship in which both parties feel at ease. Rapport-building is an art and there is much to learn for those to whom it does not come naturally to.

4. Be assertive:  Powerful influencing requires a high degree of assertiveness. Being in the 21st century, we are much less likely to allow people with authority to dictate. Yet an unassertive person will not be heard in our increasingly competitive world. So, communicate your needs or position in a clear, direct and concise way whilst being sure to show respect for the position and feelings of others. It’s all about creating a balance.

5. Develop persuasive language: Language is a powerful tool in your influence toolkit. Learn how to use linguistic devices such as alliteration and emotive language, and connecting words to increase your influence.

6. Use social Influence: A great insight is to learn and apply Robert Cialdini’s six principles of social influence:

•     Social Proof – we look to what others do to guide our behaviour.
•     Reciprocity – we feel obligated to return favours performed for us.
•     Commitment and Consistency – we want to act consistently with our commitments and values.
•     Authority – we look to experts to show us the way.
•     Scarcity – the less available the resource, the more we want it.
•     Liking – the more we like people the more we want to say yes to them.

Remember that if no one’s listening, then it doesn't matter how good your company is, how good your products or service are. Influencing techniques are imperative to you as a leader and it will help you ensure your message is heard and will increase your chances of hearing the word ‘yes’ more often in your life.