How to Communicate

Listen

Nothing is as valuable as the ability to listen to someone tell you their story. If you’re too busy thinking about how you are going to respond, you’re not listening. Slow down, calm your thoughts, concentrate on what they are saying.

When you do speak, respond to what was said with a question about that  topic. For example, “So you think that’s how we should do this?” or “You sound like you really love doing…”

Create space for the other person to speak. Your sense of significance can handle being silent and interested. You will attract people when you do this, especially if you do it in a way that is…

Non-judgmental

When we connect with someone we both risk feeling one of our three fears. We fear not being enough, not belonging and not being loved. The person speaking with you is feeling this, so make it easy for them… don’t judge. Allow them to air their quirky-ness and opinions and be interested. If you notice your mind wondering to judgemental thoughts, bring them back to thoughts of compassion and tolerance. If you do this you will be a people magnet. Nothing is more attractive than tolerance.

Take criticism

Nobody likes it yet it is a fact of life. Instead of responding with defensiveness, simply ask for clarity about what the person is saying, and thank them. Nothing else. Getting caught up in the injustice of their comments is pointless… it is only an opinion. It has no weight in your life unless you allow to.

Maintain eye contact

People who avoid eye contact are perceived as being less trustworthy. Make sure you look at the person you are connecting with at least as often as they look at you. If you feel uncomfortable at first, persist. People appreciate the contact. Keep your gaze relaxed rather than fixed and remember to blink.

Match body language

When you talk with someone, match most of their body language, including how they rest their arms and how they sit in the chair. Don’t mimic every gesture, just enough so that they feel comfortable with you.

People are attracted to people they like and people who they want to be like

Smile

Facial expressions reveal plenty about someone. If you want to attract positive people then you need to present yourself the same way. Match their smile.

What Goes Wrong

Getting

The problem is that many people think that relationships are great if they get what they want from them, rather than what they can give. They measure success in relationships based on their receipt of affirmation of themselves. They feel loved when someone is loving them. rather than when they are giving love.

The fact is, we cannot experience the love of another. It is impossible to feel the love of another. We can experience someone’s act of love, but can only feel our own feelings.

How not to Communicate

There are some clearly identified ways to not communicate. Here are some examples of what to avoid.

1. Hogging the limelight.

They rarely pause for breath, they talk over you, they are not in the least interested in what anyone else has to say. The provide no room for interaction, because it is there show. It is all about them.

2. The interrupter.

You’re right in the middle of speaking and they talk over you. You might want to share something of importance, but their version of your story or one like it is far more important. Talking over someone is the same as saying that you don’t care what they think… they are simply there to allow you to speak.

3. Jargon.

They’re so into what they do and how great it is that they hit you with all the tiny intricacies of it. They want to impress you with their knowledge and all they do is bore you and everyone else to tears. People are polite… they will act interested… but they won’t become your friend.

Relationship and ...

I place health as our number one area to master ahead of all others. After health I would place our relationships - with ourselves and with others. After all, not many people value creating change and experiencing joy as a totally solo process.

Our most valued emotion is connection, ahead of success and achievement. We want to belong. We want to be loved. There is no greater source of joy and fulfillment, and of pain, than human relationships. Because of the intensity of our feelings from relationships they are also are greatest source of fear- fear that we aren’t enough, that we won’t be loved or that we don’t belong.

This section is about taking your experience of friendships and love to the next level… to Level 1, where you experience love not matter what is happening in your life.

The Easy Model for Extraordinary Health

Exercise five times a week

Push yourself for seventy-five percent of the exercise

Breathe deeply often, even when not exercising

If you can’t get all your exercise in one hit, divide it into smaller manageable amount of time

Not doing exercise once is not  a sign of failure, simply refocus on your goal

Do muscle resistance work like half push-ups, yoga, tricep dips and crunches to build bone mass

Drink more water than you think you need, all the time

Eat fresh and raw fruits and vegetables everyday

If you’re used to eating a lot of junk food, like fried food and canned food, sacrifice one piece per meal

Fill yourself up on healthy choices and make the junk choices what you nibble on - never use the junk food to fill you up

Avoid fried foods because they starve your blood of oxygen, which slows the blood cells down, which clogs up your system

Avoid milk for the first thirty days, and then see if you still want it. Expect your baby to expel toxins as it adjusts to the lack of mcus in its system

Avoid bread for the first thirty days to give your body a rest. Fill up instead on brown rice and dark vegetables like broccoli and spinach

Snack on raw nuts, not salted or roasted, as they will ferment in your body

Drink more if you drink alcohol than you could possibly think you need

Cut back on how much alcohol you drink

Empty your cupboards of the junk and replace them with healthy choices

If you slip up and eat junk, just refocus on what you want to achieve and on what you have already achieved

When you plateau, it’s normal. Persist, and never let yourself go hungry

Graze on healthy choices instead of chocolate

Reward yourself for health eating with a walk in the sun or dancing to a favorite song, rather than some favorite junk food choice

Cut back on caffeine drinks, including coffee and soda drinks

Eat comfortable amounts of food, rather than overeating; you’ll feel more energy

Use quality oils like virgin olive, flax seed and primrose

Never eat when you are stressed or depressed, Go for a walk instead

Cut back on meat if you eat it for the first thirty day and then see if you want to go back to it. Next time you eat red meat smell the back of your hand. You can smell the meat through your pores

Focus on vegetables and fruits for breakfast rather than cereals

Avoid butter and margarine

Aim to eat twenty different types of food per day

What I now commit to for my own health and vitality

What I no longer indulge in (for example, adrenaline rushes, animal fat in excess):

What I now have in moderation:

What I now have more of as often as I can:

Key Number Five: Dairy, and Great Myth

It’s my opinion that one of the biggest blocks to healthy weight and healthy living is the consumption of dairy products. Health authorities in some countries recommend various quantities of dairy to promote health, so it follows that these countries would experience a greater level of health. Yet the United States, where the greatest amount of dairy is consumed in the world, leads the world in degenerative diseases.

Cow don’t drink cow milk. No other animal on the planet consumes milk from another animal. No other animal on the planet consumes any milk once they have matured, unless they are domesticated.

Calves drink cow’s milk because it was designed for them as they grow. Once they’re weaned they stop. Humans never get weaned. They go from mother’s milk to another animal’s milk.

Have you ever seen a giraffe nursing an adult rhino? have you ever seen a fod nursing an adult cat? Have you ever seen a human nursing an adult cow? Of course not. Because these animal don’t drink milk once they are weaned.

Human milk was designed for humans. The chemical composition of cow’s milk is different. To break down milk you need renin and lactase. These chemicals are mostly gone by the time we reach the age of three.

Casein is an element found in all milk and in cow’s milk it exists in concentrations that are 300 times greater than human milk. It coagulates in the stomach and forms difficult-to-digest curds. The curds are manageable in the four-stomach digestive system of the calf. For humans, with one stomach, we mush expend a huge amount of energy to deal with this digestive burden.

You can get all the calcium you need from eating raw nuts and plenty of the natural foods listed on the previous page.

If you are unsure of this information then go hunting for your own evidence. Don’t take our word for it… do the research and then decide for yourself. Better still,spend just 30 days dairy free and meat free and notice the change in your body.

At first you might notice your nails getting brittle and your stomach blotting. This is a normal part of your system adjusting to what it isn’t used to - health food. Persist, and after a couple of weeks at the most you will feel more energised and relaxed than you ever have.

What three commitments are you prepared to make after reading these key? How will they benefit your life and your health?

Key Number Four: High-Water Living

We are 70 percent water. The only way for your body to replenish it’s natural water level is by you consuming a high-water diet. This means eating fruit and vegetables, rather than processed and prepackaged foods.

The wonderful thing is that when you do this your weight will move to its optimum level, without you ever having to go hungry. You can eat as much fruit and vegetables as you want, especially foods like beetroot, carrots, broccoli, spinach and cabbage. (One person said it didn’t work...he was eating twenty bananas a day! Everything is balance.) High water content foods means our cells get detoxify. Water foods are the best flushing system. Your body will love you for it.

Exercise:

Write down everything you’ve eaten in the past 24 hours

Look at your list of foods. How many of your choices were high water content foods? How many were processed or prepackaged? How many had a used-by date that extended beyond your photocopier toner!

What you eat will play a significant role in determining how you feel. If your list included mostly pre-prepared foods then you probably feel sluggish and lacking in the energy to exercise. You’re keeping your body trapped in inertia.

High energy foods:

Fruits and Vegetables:

Apples

Apricots

Cherries

Figs

Grapes

Nectarines

Peaches

Pineapples

Tangerines

Lychee

Papaya

Pepper

Tomatoes

Asparagus

Broccoli

Cabbage

Cauliflower

Chard

Eggplant

Green Beans

Lettuce

Mushroom

Parsnips

Shallots

Sprouts

watercress

bananas

Berries

Dates

Grapefruit

Melons

Oranges

Pears

Plums

Kiwi

Mango

Cucumber

Avocado

Artichokes

Bok choy

Brussels sprout

Carrots

Celery

Corn

Garlic

kale

lima beans

Onions

peas

Radishes

snow peas

squash

Nuts and Seeds

Always eat seeds and nuts raw, otherwise they will ferment in you stomach

Almonds

Cashews

sesame

sunflower

Grains:

Barley

Cracked wheat

Millet

Cereals

Legumes:

Aduki beans

Black-eye beans

Great northern beans

Kidney beans

Lentils

Lima beans

Mung beans

Navy beans

Pinto beans

Split peas

Key Number Three: What Not to Do

Diets don't work. It is one of the most ineffective ways to lose weight. It involves you depriving yourself of food for weeks or months, denying yourself what you like, and then seeing your goals weight sabotaged the moment it is achieved. What’s curious is that some people put themselves through this all the time! Instead of achieving optimum health and vitality they drain themselves mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Why don’t diets work? Aren’t you usually thinking about what you want to eat and what you’re not allowed to eat? How can you succeed in achieving anything if you’re focus is on something else?

Depriving yourself is not the answer to achieving long-term health.

When we go on a diet we throw our system into turmoil. Our cells learn to hang onto the sustenance they get because they aren’t sure when they will get more. You teach your body to go into survival mode. Then when you hit your ideal weight, you come off the diet. Your cells don’t know that. All they know is they are getting the substance they weren’t getting. And you’ve taught them how to store up for lean times.

No wonder the weight goes on faster than ever. And no wonder it seems harder to get it off!

Make a commitment to yourself right now to dump harming your body with diets!