The Power of Questions

What is your primary focus? What do you consistently ask yourself when in different situations? We are constantly processing, filtering and sorting for evidence that our world matches how we think it should look. We do this through 65,000 thoughts each day. Most of these thoughts are in the form of questions. Is this right for me? How do I do this? What if I can’t? What will they think? Why? Why can’t I do it? How can I do even better?

Questions constantly shape our choices. We can’t stop the questions, but what we can do is choose what the questions are.

We have over two million bits of information coming at us every single second… we can’t possibly take in all this information, so we delete, distort and generalise about what we are experiencing to make sense of it. One of the ways we do this is through our Driving Question.

What question do you ask yourself most often that drives most of your behavior and choices?

For example, a client’s original Driving Question was “How can I stop feeling scared all the time?”

The client experienced strong emotional intensity around this question. They also asked the question constantly.

Another client thought their Driving Question was “How can I make more money?” With some thought, they realised that what they were really asking was “How can I feel safe?”

Another client asked the question “How can I help people?” When they thought about it they realised their question was “How can I get people to like me?”

A client had the question “How can I learn from this?”

Who do you think experienced more pain in their lives? The first few clients or the last clients?

When thinking about your Driving Questions are, be aware of:

You ask these questions in all different situations

You associate intense emotion to the questions.

The intent of your question is to serve and empower you, but sometimes it can block us from everything getting in. The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our questions. What this means is that if we ask ourselves disempowering questions, we are going to get an answer like this: “Because I’m not good enough, because I always make a mess of things, because I never get a break, because I’m useless.” And on it goes.

If you ask yourself low quality questions you will experience a corresponding quality of life.

Similarly, if you ask yourself high quality questions, you will experience a corresponding quality of life. Imagine you make a mistake, and instead of “Why me?” you ask yourself “How can I turn this around?” or “What can I learn from this?” or “what is the gift in this?” or “How can I do better next time?” or “What is it about this that I control or influence?”

Better questions? Absolutely, I’ve been training my  mind to ask these questions I experience less stress, overwhelm and anxiety. I haven’t eliminated these emotional states… even knowing this, I still do disempowering questions… but remember, it’s what we do consistently that counts.

The quality of our life is determined by the quality of our questions to ourselves and to others

If you have a pattern of asking yourself poor quality questions it’s time to commit to a new pattern. The same way you learnt the old questions, you can learn new ones that will work with you instead of against you. It takes a willingness to want more for you life.

Examples of disempowering Driving Questions:

How can I stop feeling scared?

What if I fail?

What if I don’t fail?

What’s wrong with me?

How can I get people to like me?

Why is this happening to me?

What am I going to do with my life?

How can I get what I want?

Why won’t they listen?

How do I be number one?

Why me?

What’s the use?

Why doesn't anyone care?

How can I stop being hurt?

Why can’t I stop eating?

What disempowering questions do you ask yourself on a consistent basis?

What do these disempowering questions cost you? What do you miss out one because of these questions? What do you fear, tolerate or avoid because of these questions?

Why must there questions change right now?

Examples of Empowering Drive Questions:

Where’s the good in this?

How can I be even more joyfully driven and contribute even more right now?

What will self-driven and self-love create right now?

What’s even more magical and magnificents within me right now?

How can I appreciate even more the perfection in this moment right now?

How can I get to the next level?

How can I improve this?

What do I admire about this?
How can I enjoy and share even more the love, joy and passion that is within me right now?

How can I feel and share even more the love and sense of fun I feel within me right now?

How can I appreciate even more the vitality and great health that I am experiencing right now?

How can I feel even more love right now?

Notice the pattern with the new questions… built into some of the empowering questions a presupposition… an assumption… that the quality or attribute already exists within you… even more…

Claim the desired questions for right now..

What empowering questions of you ask yourself on a consistent basis?

If you were t construct the ULTIMATE DRIVING QUESTION that you would ask yourself on a consistent basis, what would it be?

Don’t wait until you’re dying to find the will to live.

What is your new Driving Question… a question that fulfills you, makes you happy, and can be your focus every day? What question, if you were to ask it everyday and in all situations, would enable you to move your life in the direction of even more happiness, fulfillment and success?

How can I appreciate and enjoy even more…

____________________________ that _____________________ right now?

How can I enjoy and share ever more _____________________ that  _________________________________________ right now?

How can I …. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________, even more?

What are the benefits of this new questions?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Handy Tip:

If you are stressed, you are asking the old question.

You can’t feel gratitude and fear/ stress at the same time.

Choose to experience gratitude/ appreciation and notice the difference in how you experience your life.

The way to be poor is to be ungrateful.