Ask anyone who trains car drivers on safety courses what happens if you tell a new driver to avoid the witch’s hat and they will say the same thing. The driver hits witch’s hat.
The drivers move towards what they are looking at.
It can take five or more times for the driver to move their focus from what they don’t want to hit to where they want to drive.
These drivers are a great metaphor for what can happen in our lives. We can be going for a goal and then notice an obstacle or a challenge. Instead of remaining focused on the goal, we shift our focus to the obstacle. In life, like with the driving course, what you focus on is what you will move towards.
What you focus on is what you will get. Focus on what is a problem in getting to where you want to go, and you’ll get more of that problem, ass if it’s started breeding or invited its entire family over to move in.
You move in the direction of what you consistently think about
Imagine you’re going for a goal, say to weigh your ideal weight. You’re doing the right things, making some progress, then you seem to plateau and no matter what you do nothing seems to be shifting. The going gets tougher than starting to fade and frankly it’s getting tough to say no to the dinner invitations.
You tell yourself you’ve done pretty well, or that you don’t really have that big a butt, or that it’s okay to carry some extra weight at your age or with your work load or with kids to look after.
You give up the dream because you rationalised your lack of success. You made it okay to settle again for the poor results you were getting.
We do this all the time. Think about a time you wanted a pay rise, a date with someone or a bigger saving account. We don’t get what we want in the time frame we’ve made up for ourselves and that we’re most likely not even aware of and we rationalise our lack of results.
“I don’t care about the job anyway.”
“He wasn’t that great.”
“I’ll save once I’ve had this holiday, this new car, this stereo, this wardrobe…”
And so it goes. We rationalised ourselves into mediocrity, unit the next cycle of pain hits and we have to act. We take a few steps, get result, notice a plateau and the going getting a little tough… and the rationalising starts again.
The Problem with this strategy is each time we do it we shave a little more off our self-esteem. We trade in our self-belief for setting. We drop our standards because we don’t want to be disappointment the next time.
The next time comes around and the plateau seems to hit a lot sooner.
This is what most people do in the game of life. Anyone who doesn’t push through the plateau enough to know true success will give up and settle. We have to get some runs on the board occasionally or we learn helplessness. We learn the strategy of low expectations.
And you thought this was a motivational book!
In a way, it is, because now armed with this knowledge of this specific strategy you are now placed in a position of power. You now have enough knowledge to recognise when the “I don’t want to get hurt” Strategy is about to kick in.
That means you get to choose Plan B.
Plan B is simple. When you hit the plateau, you raise your standard. You ask more of yourself than you normally would and you ask more of yourself than the people around you would. You don’t settle, you step up.
It sounds so ridiculously simple that you’re probably questioning if this was worth the investment. Yes, absolutely, because this can change your life.
Most people experience a setback and give up. People who live at Level 1 don’t give up. They keep going… even harder. They focus on where they are going, not on what is holding them back. They have a plan and they read it often. They see themselves doing the thing they want successfully. they don’t see it once, but dozen and even hundreds of times.
Ian Thorpe sees himself not just winning his race, but all the others swimmers stuck behind him in grey colors, looking as if they are stuck in the pool.
Level 1 players focus consistently on where they are going and have a deadline for when they are going to achieve their goal. Not “Next Year,” but a specific date. If you say “Next year.” Next year can’t ever arrive. We can only experience now
Level 1 players are specific about what it is they want to achieve. “I’ll be rich,” is not specific. “I’m earning $250,000.00 per year effortlessly,” is specific.
Level 1 players state their goals “as if”. This means you need to state your goals as if it is the deadline right now.
“It is August 2014 and I am delivering a public speech to one thousand people who are responding with cheers and applause and I feel fantastic.””
Your Goal and the Problem They Create
The only way to know you have a goal that is important to you is if you have obstacles. Problems tell you this counts and that you want it. The only way to experience a problem is to have a goal.
Imagine someone sitting on a couch, not working, and broke. Their goal is to make money, the obstacle is their lack of motivation.
Imagine someone earning a million dollars a year. They want to double it. They try everything they can with total motivation but don’t achieve it. A sale falls through at the last moment. Thier goal is to make more money, their obstacle is not enough sales.
You want great health and get sick. Your goal is to be healthy and your obstacle is the illness.
You want a new job and go hunting. You get only a few interviews but nothing you want. Your goal is a new job and your obstacle is the lack of suitable jobs.
It’s only when we want something that we can experience obstacles
This is good news, because it tells us that each time we experience a setback or a problem, it’s feedback telling us this counts and that we want it. The more success we get the bigger the problem… there is more at risk… which is even better because it means we have stepped up.
We love problems.
Be SMART About Your Goals
S- Smart
M- Measurable
A- Attainable
R- Realistic
T- Timeframe
Make sure your goals fit in with this model. Your goals need to be specific - that is, state exactly what you want to achieve.
They need to be measurable - how will you know you’ve achieved your goals?
Your goals need to be attainable - Achievable by you and something you alone can control and influence.
They need to realistic - within reach yet still a stretch, with an incremental plan for getting there.
Your goals need to have a timeframe - when will you achieve this goal by and how will you celebrate?
There’s one more letter that needs to be added, and without it all of this is just talk….
A- Action
We must, must, must, must be prepared to take action. If we don’t take action we are simply filling time with an interesting philosophical exercise.
Nothing can replace actin.
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